I don’t know how I would have reacted if this lockdown would have been announced in 2015-16 when I was at the threshold of agoraphobia.
2014 was a year of learning from our first eCommerce startup. I quit my dream job for it (Check linkedin for more details. I was in the best place, best position with the best paymaster). But the startup unfortunately didn’t bloom into a flower inspite of watering our blood and sweat.
Damn! My first failure!
It hit me hard mentally and emotionally since I never knew how it felt to face it after being a 100% ter, being a state-level topper with three job offers in hand, being someone who got every job she applied to.
Not wasting more time sulking, we got working on our second business idea, SchoolCircuit with my partner Manish in 2015. Our customers were 5000+ teachers and parents. First year went very smoothly when our free products were used extensively by the schools and preschools. New success started healing my invisible injuries from the first failure.
We exhibited at international conferences and tried to raise funds through various channels. But, due to technological (too early in market) and financial reasons, the second failure stared into my face. Whatever remaining inside of me after 2014, also broke. I realized the first thing I needed to learn was to deal with failures and move on.
I didn’t want to go back to the grind of 9 to 5. Job didn’t satisfy me emotionally even though it fueled my ego and bank balance. The back to back failures had cornered me making me cry for days. When the house would be empty, I would just lay on the bed and keep crying. It affected me so much that I never knew when the pain grew under my skin making me anxious and depressed. Initial signs of agoraphobia developed during the same time. When the pain at the centre of my chest didn’t go away on its own, my family doctor referred me to a psychologist who started treating me.
This was the lowest I could go when even stepping out of my house was a daily challenge filled with suffocation and restlessness. Mental health took all my focus and my family supported me wholeheartedly. That’s when I took up physical fitness. And gave all the love and care my body had been missing from so many years.
I started embracing myself with all my failures. Going back to the things I loved helped me further. I started reading books. A lot of books. A day for me would be an hour of physical workout and then reading books through the day till midnight. Gradually I started getting back to my writing that had taken a backseat amidst my busy full-time job in IT, and as a wife and mother.
Since then, I have not looked back - If you are my facebook friend, you are a witness to my journey from a struggling walk of 0.7 km to running a full marathon (42.2 km). I have turned into a marathoner (inspite of being ridiculed many times) and a fitness enthusiast now inspiring hundreds of women. From climbing up a Job, followed by experiencing the hooting thrill of leading two startups to becoming Bestselling Author and Story Expert guiding authors to write, publish and market their books.
From following the herd to finding my passion, my story is no less than a roller coaster ride.
Do you resonate with my story? Comment below.